Promise
by Yuki KIKI
Summary: TsukasaMimiru fluff (as if there isn't enough already ;) based on Episode 8 of the series.


_A/N: Well, here it is folks, my first .hackSign fic. Yeehaw am I ever enthused. Let's just hope you're all as excited about this as I am! OMG LOL!!!11! [/cynicism] Seriously though, as I just said this is a first attempt. If it blows (as bad as I think it does) feel free to flame my ass off- constructive criticism is always accepted and appreciated. The fic is based on Episode 8 "Promise"- and thus the dialogue is taken directly from the series.  
_  
Disclaimer: .hack r0x0rs my s0x0rs. As if a lowly wench like myself could dream up something so spiffy.  
  
Promise  
  
1  
  
Swimming, sinking, drowning. The inky darkness of his mind a suitable prison inside a prison. Memories of a past buried but never forgotten- He stood, forever on the edge of sanity, of himself, of something so deeply sinister he didn't dare name it (to name was to make it real- so terribly real). Pale lashes parted slowly, his eyes burning from the sudden exposure. Sunlight. No, not sunlight really, but he supposed it was close enough to being real. It was all close enough to being real. (He supposed he was close enough to being real as well.) Pale violet eyes squinted shut once more. Well, real or not, it was still too bright, despite the dull grey 'cloud' covering. His head slumped weakly forward, resting gently on the scratchy fabric covering his knees. A soft sigh escaped his cracked dry lips. A message. Another message. Couldn't they understand he just wanted to be left alone? Alone... The vines wreathed around him as though excited, reaching, clawing, growing. Gnarled twisted fingers- a mothers loving caress. Alone. This is what he wanted, but then why did it feel this way inside?  
  
"I really don't care but... I don't want to go..."  
  
2  
  
_Hey, it's Mimiru. How are you doing? I'm worried because I haven't seen you around at all! You know... Well, I'll be waiting in the courtyards of Dun Loireag. I'll be waiting, so drop by ok?  
_  
A deep sigh escaped the heavyblades plush lips as she rested her chin in her hand. Maybe messaging him wasn't such a great idea... But she just couldn't walk away, not like this, not with his betrayed eyes forever burned into her soul as her last memory of him. BT was probably right though, Tsukasa wasn't the type to come out of where ever he was hiding just because she called him. Especially because she had called him.  
  
_"Is being around me that bad?" Raw emotion, he didn't understand...  
"...Yes." Hurt violet. Betrayal. Withdrawal. She had nothing to say in return to that- She had never once thought that one word could possibly hurt so much...  
_  
She swallowed the lump that had suddenly developed in her throat. She, she had been caught up on that for a while- But she just couldn't let it go, not like that (she had A20 to thank for that revelation). She hated leaving things unfinished. It didn't matter what he said or thought, as long as she could make him understand somehow. She didn't sell him out to the Crimson Knights, she wasn't going to just hand him over to Sora, she wasn't using him- She, well, (as much as she hated admitting it to herself, let alone to him) she cared about him. Even if she could only make him understand that she was waiting for him, it would be good enough. At least, that's how she felt.  
  
3  
  
His head tilted back, leaning gently on the soft covers as he gazed up at the girl that always slept. He was confused- Mother had sent him to meet Mimiru the first time, but he couldn't understand why. Then again, there were a lot of things he didn't understand, like why Mimiru... No, she was selfish, just like all the rest. She was... He shook his head as his eyes squeezed shut. No, she wasn't- But... He just felt so confused... She gave him to the Knights- She lied to him, now she was messaging him, telling him to meet her! She didn't honestly think he'd go to her, did she? She was either too proud, or too stupid- Either way she was just selfish, no, she was even more selfish and annoying than all the others. She was worse because... Because she acted like she wasn't... At least his father and the others out in that ludicrous world didn't lead him on, didn't try to trick him... They didn't hide their malicious intentions behind gentle smiles and kind words. Their eyes didn't light up when they were around him, they didn't act like they were happy to see him, that they wanted to see him. They weren't that cruel, but she was... She was...  
  
_I'll be waiting, so drop by ok?  
_  
His head drooped forward again, his knees pinned tightly against his chest. He wished he could curl up smaller, so small he could just disappear.  
  
_ He whirled around to meet her skeptical (and slightly confused) glare. His heart pounded wildly in his chest as the wind ruffled the long grass and the Chaos Gate twirled behind him with a low hum. What had happened? He placed his fist on his jutting hip and turned his nose up, putting on his best arrogant air. He didn't know what was going on, but he refused to break down in front of her.  
"I... Don't like you." He sniffed lightly before gating out of the area.  
_  
She confused him so much... He slowly raised his head. He didn't want to go, but he, or at least a part of him buried deep within himself, did- At least hear whatever it was she had to say. But no, no, he wouldn't fall for that. Not again. Never again. He would just stay here, alone, with mother and the sleeping girl, and they would be happy.  
  
_I'll be waiting, so drop by ok?  
_  
Guilt was an emotion he wasn't unfamiliar with... But... She was waiting... He rigorously shook his head once again.  
  
"I'm sure she's not there... There's no way she'd still be there..."  
  
4  
  
Waiting for Godot...  
  
She stabbed her sword deep into the damp planks of the ridge. How long had she been waiting? She couldn't remember anymore. Heavy lids dragged down before she straightened up and pinched her cheeks lightly. She couldn't go to sleep, no matter how tired she was- What if he came when she was... 'If' being the key word here. Her shoulders heaved with a gloomy sigh. Maybe he really wasn't coming... No, he was, he had to. He had to because... Because she had called him... She told him she'd be waiting... Because she had to see him, for just one last time. Because she'd never be satisfied if her last memory of him was of the look in his eyes after she hurt him. She hurt him. Her head drooped, her heart felt so heavy, as if it was trying to drag the rest of her insides to her feet. He had to come, he wouldn't stand her up... He was... He was too... too, oh dammit! She was never good with words! He was... Something. She blinked and quickly shook her head again, letting loose a half-hearted laugh. She must have been more tired than she'd thought! Maybe Sora was right (not that she'd ever admit it- She may not be smart, but she still had her pride!)- but no, Tsukasa, he couldn't log out, so she had to stay in the game indefinitely like him- There was no 'meet between this and this time' and that's it... He didn't have a very good grasp of time... An absent smile graced her lips slightly.  
  
_The tall, blond Wavemaster smiled in her mysterious manner down at the younger Heavyblade. "...What?" Mimiru looked up at her with slight mistrust. She just couldn't forget the fact that she was in this predicament because of the older woman's manipulations, not this soon. Not while the wound was still so open and sore...BTs smirk didn't leave. Mimiru hated that look- Like the blond spellcaster knew something she didn't, like she was keeping some big secret from everybody. Mimiru hated people like that. _

_ "I hope those feelings of yours reach him." Mimiru blinked. What? BT simply smiled down at her again.  
_  
She sighed again. She prayed they did too...  
  
5  
  
"I think Sora has a point, but there's something else. Since Tsukasa can't log out, he's always somewhere within this game, so I have to stay here all the time as well." She stifled a yawn. God, was she tired- She'd taken to babbling away to herself, otherwise she was sure she'd pass out. But she couldn't, because he was coming. She was sure he was. He'd be there anytime now. "That's why this is alright... Oh, but maybe I should have made it a dungeon..." She blinked her bleary eyes. Everything was starting to look kinda blurry, which probably wasn't a good sign. Something caught her eye. She turned back to look at her sword, shining proudly as it stood perpendicular out from the virtual planks, reflecting her tired face and the fields spreading out behind her... And something (or, more accurately, someone) else. It took her hazy mind a moment to recognize the milky reflection, and at first she was sure she was dreaming. She yelped as she stumbled up to face him, trying to will her numb legs to support her. She wouldn't let her emotions get the better of her in front of him again. He simply stared. He was... For lack of a better word, beautiful in the creamy light of the full moon. She stood in awe a moment, amazed at how the light danced along his silver hair and pale skin- He looked... Angelic... Perfect... And a small part of her wondered why she wasn't tired anymore, and why her hands were shaking.  
  
"You really were here..." Awe. Had she really been here? All this time? No. No, it wasn't possible. Why would she wait for him? He had ignored her message, and then he'd fallen asleep- Why? She seemed almost... He didn't know. Her dark skin shining with a light from within, her eyes sparkling the way they always seemed to when in his presence. She looked so... Alive. So real. So... Perfect.  
  
"Hey!" That un named feeling bubbled up from inside, something so pure she couldn't help but smile. He had come! He really had! Despite all her self- assurance, deep down she had been so sure he, well, he wouldn't... Heh, she knew her stubbornness would come in handy someday! Oh, she couldn't wait to rub this in Soras face...  
  
"You're so stupid." His eyes narrowed. Why would she wait this long for him? She had probably logged off and logged back on or something... But why this late? She... She confused him. And she looked... pretty... with the moon glinting off her armor... He unknowingly stuck his nose up in the air, much like when they'd first met. He wouldn't... Fall for... She lied to him! She was annoying and bossy and selfish... And obviously tired from waiting for so long... He huffed lightly to himself, pushing the last thought to the back of his mind as he turned away, preparing to leave.  
  
"Wait!" She felt herself falter with that last comment. Oh well, this was Tsukasa, she should be used to it by now. Then he turned his back to her... Something almost like panic seized her by the throat- He couldn't leave now! This wasn't supposed to go like this! She was supposed to make everything better between the two... Somehow... "I'll protect you." Crap. So much for not letting her emotions get the better of her...  
  
He felt his heart jump into his throat... No one had ever... Ever... He squared his shoulders. "From what?" he scoffed lightly, but the bite behind his words had dissolved. He was raw, exposed, and he hated it- Hated how she could do that to him. His fists clenched. But he really didn't mind either...  
  
"...From all sorts of things." She mumbled softly. Crap. Bear was better at these kinds of talks. Crap. She wished she knew the proper words to say... To say what she needed to say. She wished she could swallow the lump that had crawled up into her throat (but she didn't dare for fear that indeed it was her heart migrating north, and she certainly didn't like the idea of digesting it or something...) She wished she wasn't so afraid... Of what, she wasn't sure.  
  
"You really think you can protect me?" It wasn't spiteful, much to his dismay he sounded like a lost child. Where had the hurt gone? The mistrust? The... the anger? She had betrayed him! But... Now he found himself wondering if there had in fact been... Been any anger at all... Just... Hurt. He could see her eyes, haunting.  
_ "Is being around me that bad?"  
"...Yes."_

He had hurt her too... But here she was... She was... Apologizing? Why...  
  
"I'm not sure." She didn't like this. She'd always imagined herself, when taking a stand, she'd always imagined she'd stand tall and speak loud, bold, and clear. That the right words would just come so easy, she'd know exactly what to say and how to say it. "But that's what I've decided." Where was that image now? Now that she needed that proud self-confident Mimiru, she was trapped in this weak, fumbling, shell. But no, she couldn't run now. She had to... This is what she wanted. For once in her life she was absolutely positive what she wanted, no, needed to do. She had a purpose- if only she knew how to tell him so he'd understand... "I've decided to do this!"  
  
His heart pounded in his ears so loudly he was sure she could hear it. Didn't she... He hated her, he hated her for making him... Why was it so hard to breath? Why was she...? What was she thinking?! He wanted to turn around, so look her in the eye and tell her she was stupid and annoying and to stop calling him- But... If he turned around... He didn't know if he'd be able to turn away again... The silence stretched out between them. He couldn't even... Even thank her... To... Apologize for making her cry... "Do as you like." I'm sorry. I forgive you. Don't leave. The words all died within his throat. She was always stronger than him... His head dipped in shame- He felt like he was going to burst. Why did it feel like this? He was ashamed but... Happy? No, well, yes, but something... Something else... His shoulders bunched as he gated out. She confused him so much...  
  
6  
  
She blinked... Had he... A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as the warmth swelled within. He had... Accepted. Her face split into a huge shit-eating grin. He had accepted her proposal. He may not have said it but... But she knew him, or at least she liked to think she did. She didn't know how, but somehow, something she'd said had been the right thing. He understood her, and she understood him... Well, okay, not really, but she was working on that one. She would protect him... She would die for him, and it took almost everything she had to keep from dancing on the spot or something. She felt like she was going to burst- She was too caught up in the feelings Tsukasa awoke in her to even question exactly what it was she was feeling. (Typical Mimiru ;) All she knew was that she was happy, and she was screwed because she had school, no sleep, and it was almost time for her to wake up... Craaaap...  
  
7  
  
He plopped down heavily at the foot of the sleeping girls bed once again. His eyes shut gently as he leaned his head back and let the bright, cheerful sunlight stream through the thick leaves dance on his warm face. He didn't even really notice the change of scenery...  
_"I'll protect you."_

He didn't even notice the small, serene smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Maybe the World wasn't so bad after all...  
  
_ la Fin _  
  
_A/N: Well, there it was. I hope it didn't make your eyes bleed Well, I'm (semi) proud to say that this piece of crap is the first romance I've ever started that stayed a romance the entire way through ; I got mad skillz. So yeah, reviews are an authors only form of nutrition, so please- Feed me. _


End file.
